My lovely grandma passed away early last Friday morning…
As I head up to here part of the country for services and to hug my beautiful precious mother and spend time with her, I feel extremely open to spirit and tender.
It is during these times I like to remember some of my most vivid intuitions and enjoy knowing my grandmother is a part of the pure, positive world of spirit.
I remember my very favorite spiritual vision I’ve ever had and I’d like to share that with you here today in memory of my grandmother’s life here on earth and to the freedom she feels now as a soul:
I was driving with my kids and listening to music and hearing them chat back and forth as we drove, and as happens quite often, my heart was suddenly filled with love for them.
Physically full of love… so full it was bursting.
Full of just total and absolute gratitude that they were both in my life.
Usually during these *attacks* of joy I hold my breath and smile and sort of internally squeeze my heart in a hug around this joy.
Sort of suppress it inward.
Today I decided to let the love radiate outwards… just release it and see where it went.
I literally felt my heart expand and fill the car… then I saw it expand to cover my little town and then it grew to cover my entire state. I kept letting it fly, not getting in the way, just feeling it expand.
I felt it cover our entire country, then expand out to fill the entire planet. I saw it expand outward and fill our solar system, our galaxy, and our entire universe.
My heart kept expanding outward and I figured that since I have absolutely no idea what happens after you pan out to the entire universe I thought, “this is going to get interesting.”
It did.
I started to see the sides of space curve as my heart expanded past the outer limits of space (I didn’t know there was such a thing!) and time became a non-reality… the very second my heart expanded out past the confines of space and time and *matter* as we know it, I felt incredible… an expansive feeling I had never ever had before.
As I expanded out past the outer limits of the universe, I felt and fullness and a lightness I had never known before.
Unexpected and delightful.
My heart kept expanding to see that our entire universe was being held in the palm of the hand of a beautiful, shining soul.
There were many many souls all gathered around, looking down at our universe and chatting and exclaiming happily about what was going on down there.
There was much delight and laughter and conversation.
- The first thing I realized was how cool it was that even though there were so many souls around, each one was unique and completely distinguishable from each other and instantly recognizable to me.
- The second thing I realized was how much FUN they were having as they looked over our universe… I could hear many of them excitedly planning their visit and looking forward to what they wanted to do on earth.
The interesting thing was, that they were not all wanting to live a luxurious life or even a peaceful life.
Each was looking at our world and seeing different things that delighted them.
Some were excited to experience things that we would perceive as negative or sad… fighting in battles and getting illnesses and dying. They were excited just to be able to come down and experience the physical world… eat food and run and swim and jump and climb.
The closest way I can describe it was that they were thrilled at the idea of coming down to have fun and play!
Just like if we were to take part in a movie… some of us would think it was more fun to play the bad guy or the villain then the good guy or the sweet boring neighbor.
I always thought the actor in Harry Potter that probably had the most fun in filming was Voldemort, even though he is absolutely one of the most horrible characters ever invented.
Just the fun of playing a role, any role, and enjoying it all along the way… no matter how story line went.
If you knew you were only acting, even the tragic death scenes would be fun to play.
This is how they felt too. They knew it was all an act, that would be short lived and fun to experience, returning them ultimately to this amazing expansive and limitless state once again.
And I wondered, having just felt this incredible expansive freedom when leaving the constrains of the physical world (where we are bound by the parameters of time progression and gravity and mass) why anyone ever would want to leave this amazing lightness of being and this interconnected pure positive energy state to go down onto heavy heavy earth… where gravity pulls us down and words are mumbled and bumbled and we communicate so thickly and so slowly with our mouths and move so heavily with our bodies.
Why would we give up expansive freedom for this limited physical *reality*?
I witnessed the answer first hand: because it is fun.
They wanted to experience it, temporarily, and enjoy it.
All of it.
The good times and bad times and the up sides of life and the down sides of life and the joy and the sorrow and the laughter and the pain. They wanted to ride the roller coaster for the experience and for the fun of it.
Without the fun of it, no one in their right mind would ever leave this total light filled and love filled sanctuary to come down to earth. But the expression of life on earth is joy and fun, when we allow it to be.
It was the most intense vision I’ve ever head and one that I can still *feel* when I remember it.
I just think it’s so cool that when I focused on the love I had in my heart and I let it guide me, it led me right to the eternal source of true love and happiness, the interconnection of our souls and this positive anticipation of FUN.
That’s where love led me that day… I guess that’s where love leads us all, when we allow it.
I just had to remember to allow it to expand instead of trapping it in.
As I was describing the vision to my children and telling them exactly where my overwhelming love for them had led me, my daughter had the best analogy I’ve ever heard, better than the ones I was able to come up with.
It was so awesome that I painted it.
“It reminds me of how I feel when I am swimming. I am holding my breath underwater, and as I come up to the surface, I break through the top and take a big free breath. It feels amazing,” Clara said.
Holy. Crap. YES!
This is what took me paragraph after paragraph to try to explain. That’s it!
The feeling of holding your breath for a long period of time… breaking through the surface… expanding into all that you are, all that soul freedom… greeting all of your loved ones and re-emerging into non-physical.
Do you have a loved one who as passed away?
This painting (I call “Returning Home”) is the closest thing I have ever seen to what it feels like to break through that barrier and release your earthly confines.
See all the souls, still holding their breath but swimming up to the top?
All the joy and love that waits for them just above the surface?
How wonderful it feels to take that first big breath and remember who you truly are… that you are more than your earthly body, that you are a soul eternal?
The love that surrounds us and awaits us as we make this journey is intoxicating.
As a physician I’ve witnessed first hand how beautiful it is when a patient is dying and the veil between worlds lifts away.
Often they see and begin conversing with loved ones who are joyfully waiting for them on the other side.
Many times they actually feel and express joy and elation as they begin to move on past this lifetime.
Often they turn their gaze upwards and reach their arms outward.
It is quite a beautiful thing, unexpected by many of the family members that are present.
(To answer questions that I know I’ll get emailed… the original canvas sold. But I did get the artwork made into Giclee prints and they are listed here.)
Sometimes living down here on Earth can feel hard. Heavy and hard.
That’s when I remember… it’s because we are all down here, holding our breath, carrying around these heavy heavy Earth suits.
For certain, there is great joy and fun to be had down here.
But it is nothing compared to that lightness of being that souls feel.
It’s a great big swim down here… temporary and interesting and fun and playful and deep.
Just know that when we make that swim up to the surface, the fullness of our being awaits.
xoxo, Laura
What an amazing vision. I’m amazed how you got to explain it by holding the breath while being under water. That is just right!
When we go through hard times, we hold the breath. Sometimes it takes a few days, months until we break the surface of the water. We wake up holding the breath, we fell asleep holding the breath.
Your kids are amazing and they make your heart fullfil with love.
Thank you Ion… I really appreciate reading your thoughts and the value you add to my blog by writing them down here to share. Thank you!!! xoxo, Laura
Truly inspiring vision! I had the chills while reading it and visualizing the view from the universe as it was filled with immense love. You message defines our true purpose so well. The next time I feel that sort of love, I’ll remember to consciously expand outward as you did. Thank you for sharing!
Thank you dear Natalie!!! Let me know what happens when you do! Much love and appreciation to you for leaving me this kind comment… xoxo, Laura
Thank you for sharing that intuition. I get goosebumps reading about it. I attended a retreat recently and during a guided meditation, we took a similar journey. Most of us got to the level of seeing our joy and light radiating out into the whole universe and just one of us had the experience of going beyond that to ‘play’ with the spirits as you did. Her description was so amazing and she enjoyed it so much that she was very reluctant to ‘come back’ into her physical body.
I’ve been relying on guided meditations to experience this sort of thing and now that I know others have done it spontaneously in times of intense love, I will let myself be open to that too.
Thank you so much Melinda! I love that you have felt similar things and yes yes yes I know you can have this spontaneous visualization too! Let me know if you do! I really appreciate your sweet and thoughtful comment, it was great to read about your retreat and I’m sure my readers appreciate it too! xoxox, Laura
Your timing is impeccable. Last night on 60 min. They showed free fall divers going down 400 ft. on one breath, risking death. Today the moon phase is in Pisces, sign of fish, God of the sea Neptune. Water season, kidney strength
in TCM…..
Thank you for realigning my body mind spirit with LOVE
Thank you so much Brenna — I love all the additional info you listed as I don’t know much about astrology and yet am fascinated by it all. Love that! xoxo, Laura
Thank you for sharing your vision. I could feel your experience as I was reading your words. How wonderful!!
Thank you sweet Karen!!! I appreciate your kind message… love to you. xoxo, Laura
This made me think of of the CS Lewis children’s movie ending of the Dawn Treader. Aslan tells the characters that stepping through the water will take them home. Maybe you should be a movie writer!
Thank you Gail!!! You made me smile. I appreciate your comment, I think I should watch that movie with my kids! Love to you… Xoxo
The painting is beautiful and so are your words! My mother passed earlier this year (alone at home and wasn’t found for a couple of days) and I love this vision of her breaking the surface of the water. It brings me peace to have this picture of her breaking through the barrier. Peace to you and your family. Love
Kathy, I’m so honored that I could help bring closure for that and appreciate you sharing this with me. I am 100% positive that the death experience is a release and an uplifting feeling no matter what the circumstance of the death is. That moment of release is exquisite. My son has a soul memory of dying and he told me it was the best feeling he ever felt. I should blog about that! Thanks for the kind words and hugs to you… Xoxo
Thank you so much for this post in my email today. It resonated for me on so many levels, including bereavement over my son’s death. But what I want to share with you is a synchronicity for me that both awed and delighted me. Earlier today, I had done (for the first time) a particular process writing called proprioceptive writing.It is an interesting process with some ritual & directions that make it different from other process writing.
In any case, what I am exploring currently with my artistic work is water. I began writing with a childhood memory about feeling like I was drowning at a pool party and how no one noticed, and it went into other memories of the undiagnosed (until my 20s) asthma I had as a child. As I explored these things, it became clear to me that there were messages about my needs and my being not seen or heard, and the fact that I probably wasn’t articulating my needs. I wrote about needing actual air and figurative air, and that let me to explore what I meant about ‘figurative air.’ And that led to me writing about air as freedom, about a SF story I wrote with amphibious beings that rise from the water and stand with arms raised skyward in a movement to activate their air breathing organs, and how, when I stand in that manner, I feel free and powerful and connected to earth and sky….
So. When I read what your daughter said, I got a jolt – it resonated with what I’d written this morning, from being a child panicking under water to the air hunger of asthma to what greater truths for myself might be inherent in those things as symbols. It all had seemed important enough that I wanted to take that bit of writing to a session with my psychologist.
The synchronicity of the image (underwater, air after a long time not breathing, bursting into freedom ) in your email seemed to emphasize that I have, indeed, come upon something significant for my growth.
Apologies for the length of the comment and my thanks again for your story.
Wow dear Zann, what an intuitive and beautiful writer you are! Thank you so so much for sharing this process with us here, it was healing and freeing to read and I’m sure will resonate with many of my readers as well… THANK YOU. And so very glad I could be a small part of that unfolding today… Xoxo, Laura
I love it!!! Thank you for sharing this lovely intuition. It helped me REMEMBER why we are here!!! I want to say more but need to help Luke now. Your grandmother gave you a wonderful gift! Lots of love to you and your family now and always! xoxoxoxo
Thank you dear friend… Love to you and a high five to sweet Luke! Xoxo
Been an avid follower of your blog for almost 3 years. This has been by far my favorite post. Thanks for sharing!
Thank you so much for such a sweet comment Amy! And for following my blog since the beginning! I really appreciate this feedback and will post more intuitions in the future, thanks to your comment! Xoxo
In my dreams at night my happiest moments are when I lift my arms up in breast stroke form and kick off with my feet and I begin to fly – light and carefree. Thank you so much for your beautiful description of love and happiness.
Enid, I’m so thrilled to read this because whenever I have dreams where I’ve flown, it’s always just like you describe… Swooping slowly and into a breast stroke motion as I lift into the sky. I didn’t know others had that experience too, how cool! I’ve only heard others say they jump or run or leap… But mine has always been a slow motion leaning into it and breast stroke motion! Thank you so much for this interesting comment… Xoxoxo
I love your comment Enid…when I leave my body, it starts with a lucid dream many times..and I also do what you do..lift my arms and kick my feet and start flying…unless one has done this, it is hard for another to understand just how “freeing” it is…also, since I am a meditator for many years, it also starts a “beautiful journey” to many places for me…thanks for posting:) Juta Semmel
Thank you for sharing this powerful intuition. As I read it I felt it permeated my own mind and soul as my heart and love extended into the expansiveness of the universe drawing into Source energy. This vision made me think of what enlightnment could feel like, oneness with the universe. I’m grateful to have been introduced to you and your blog. It’s been life changing!!
Thank you dear Denise, so glad my words connected with you on a soul level. Thank you so much for leaving a comment… Much love, Laura
Hello Doc…I have replied to many of your wonderful posts; this is the best one yet, for myself to read; for myself, one who has astrally projected for over 43yrs now, your sharing your story speaks of what happens to me and so many other “projectors”…I worked with cancer patients for 25yrs and was at the bedside of quite a few of them as they left their “heavy coats of life” with glowing eyes looking upwards, some, arms, too, were held up..I feel so strongly that we all choose to incarnate so that we can “play our roles” whichever it is we choose to play because we “know” in our souls that we can always return HOME, no words to describe here..you did such a good job yourself! Thank you for posting this article, Juta Semmel
Dearest Juta! So wonderful to hear from you again dear one!!! Thank you for sharing your inspiring patient experiences and for your wisdom… Much love, Laura
I. Love. This. Thank you so much for sharing it.
Thank you so much Andrea!!!! I really appreciate it!!! Much love to you… xoxo, Laura
Little did I know that when I first read this blog post 11 days later my dad would die unexpectedly at 68 yoa. Thank for you writing this. It’s still so very raw but I know this post will help bring my peace over the months to come.
Michelle, I am so incredibly sorry to hear about your father, you are right this is so soon and so raw but I am sending you love and support and I am so glad you are taking it one day at a time… let me know if there is anything at all I can do. I’m very appreciative that you found comfort in this post and left a comment here… (((xoxox))))), laura